Is it okay to set boundaries in relationships? Is it
healthy to set boundaries in relationships? Did Jesus set boundaries in dealing
with people? The answer to these three questions is a definite YES.
Many
health professionals insist that one of the most vital components to creating a
healthy and fulfilling relationship is to set clear and agreed to boundaries in
relationships. In simple terms, boundaries are the thing that keeps us
separate from the other person. The boundaries are what set the place
between where you end and the other person begins.
Many
people are sensitive-hearted and prone to take on other people’s problems. If
they don’t have clear personal boundaries and limits they get weighed down and
walked on. Eventually they start having problems with anger, resentment,
stress overload, or burn out. They just can’t continue being so helpful and
caring all the time!
Jesus
had personal needs that he put priority on — sometimes even over the needs of
other people — and he did so without feeling guilty. Primarily his personal
soul care had to do with separating himself from people to be alone with God.
Jesus
said no to inappropriate behaviour:
·
When the demands on Him from the
crowd crossed His needs to be with His Father, He withdrew from the crowds…
But the news about Him was
dispersion farther, and large crowds kept gathering to hear Him and to be
healed of their illnesses. 16 But Jesus
Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion].
عَلَى أَنَّ خَبَرَ يَسُوعَ زَادَ
انْتِشَاراً، حَتَّى تَوَافَدَتْ إِلَيْهِ جُمُوعٌ كَثِيرَةٌ لِيَسْتَمِعُوا
إِلَيْهِ وَيَنَالُوا الشِّفَاءَ مِنْ أَمْرَاضِهِمْ. 16 أَمَّا هُوَ، فَكَانَ
يَنْسَحِبُ إِلَى الأَمَاكِنِ الْخَالِيَةِ حَيْثُ يُصَلِّي.
Luke
5:15-16
· Jesus said no to Peter and the
disciples who had an inappropriate agenda for Jesus as a political king or
military warrior rather than a sacrificial lamb.
But Jesus turned and said to
Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block
to Me; for you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on things of
man.”
فَالْتَفَتَ يَسُوعُ إِلَى
بُطْرُسَ وَقَالَ لَهُ: «اغْرُبْ مِنْ أَمَامِي يَا شَيْطَانُ! أَنْتَ عَقَبَةٌ
أَمَامِي، لأَنَّكَ تُفَكِّرُ لَا بِأُمُورِ اللهِ، بَلْ بِأُمُورِ النَّاسِ!»
Matthew
16:23
There are many more examples of Jesus setting
boundaries in The Bible and we need to learn that it is Christian to set
boundaries and protect ourselves and our emotions, and teach others (children,
friends, coworkers, loved ones, parents) their boundaries so as to set the place
between where you end and the other person begins.
I invite you to repeat the following prayer for
yourself
Abba
Father, thank You for Your abundant blessings and Your unfailing, deep,
everlasting, and inseparable love for me. Lord,
I pray that out of Your glorious riches You
strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so that I can
learn to set boundaries in my life and in my relationships with others. Help me
to be prepared through the guidance of The Holy Spirit to answer all
accusations or attempts to make me feel guilty because I am setting healthy
boundaries. Teach me to be firm but courteous and respectful in my answers,
explaining to others that setting boundaries is a win for them as well and we
can live in a win-win relationship with respect. Help me Lord to push back
those who have by force pushed on my boundary line during the years; without
allowing my emotions to be in play; but to let The Holy Spirit think for me and
speak through me. God I pray to You in the name of Your precious Son; The King of kings and Lord of lords, my Redeemer,
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, the power, the
dominion, the majesty and the blessings forever and ever and unto ages of all
ages.
Jesus loves you,
In Him,
Wagdi Henein
