Is it okay to set boundaries in relationships? Is it
healthy to set boundaries in relationships? Did Jesus set boundaries in dealing
with people? The answer to these three questions is a definite YES.
Many
health professionals insist that one of the most vital components to creating a
healthy and fulfilling relationship is to set clear and agreed to boundaries in
relationships. In simple terms, boundaries are the thing that keeps us
separate from the other person. The boundaries are what set the place
between where you end and the other person begins.
Many
people are sensitive-hearted and prone to take on other people’s problems. If
they don’t have clear personal boundaries and limits they get weighed down and
walked on. Eventually they start having problems with anger, resentment,
stress overload, or burn out. They just can’t continue being so helpful and
caring all the time!
Jesus
had personal needs that he put priority on — sometimes even over the needs of
other people — and he did so without feeling guilty. Primarily his personal
soul care had to do with separating himself from people to be alone with God.
Jesus
said no to inappropriate behaviour:
- When the demands on Him from the crowd crossed His needs to be with His Father, He withdrew from the crowds…
But the news about Him was
dispersion farther, and large crowds kept gathering to hear Him and to be healed
of their illnesses. 16 But Jesus
Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion].
عَلَى أَنَّ خَبَرَ يَسُوعَ زَادَ
انْتِشَاراً، حَتَّى تَوَافَدَتْ إِلَيْهِ جُمُوعٌ كَثِيرَةٌ لِيَسْتَمِعُوا
إِلَيْهِ وَيَنَالُوا الشِّفَاءَ مِنْ أَمْرَاضِهِمْ. 16 أَمَّا هُوَ، فَكَانَ
يَنْسَحِبُ إِلَى الأَمَاكِنِ الْخَالِيَةِ حَيْثُ يُصَلِّي.
Luke
5:15-16
- Jesus said no to Peter and the disciples who had an inappropriate agenda for Jesus as a political king or military warrior rather than a sacrificial lamb.
But Jesus turned and said to
Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block
to Me; for you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on things of
man.”
فَالْتَفَتَ يَسُوعُ إِلَى
بُطْرُسَ وَقَالَ لَهُ: «اغْرُبْ مِنْ أَمَامِي يَا شَيْطَانُ! أَنْتَ عَقَبَةٌ
أَمَامِي، لأَنَّكَ تُفَكِّرُ لَا بِأُمُورِ اللهِ، بَلْ بِأُمُورِ النَّاسِ!»
Matthew
16:23
There are many more examples of Jesus setting
boundaries in The Bible and we need to learn that it is Christian to set
boundaries and protect ourselves and our emotions, and teach others (children,
friends, coworkers, loved ones, parents) their boundaries so as to set the place
between where you end and the other person begins.
I invite you to repeat the
following prayer for yourself:
Abba
Father, thank You for Your unfailing, inseparable, deep and everlasting love
for me, Your abundant blessings in my life, and for the riches of Your grace
upon my life. Lord, I pray that out of Your
glorious riches You strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner
being, so that I can learn to set boundaries in my life and in my relationships
with others. Help me to be prepared through the guidance of The Holy Spirit to
answer all accusations or attempts to make me feel guilty because I am setting
healthy boundaries. Teach me to be firm but courteous and respectful in my
answers, explaining to others that setting boundaries is a win for them as well
and we can live in a win-win relationship with respect. Help me Lord to push
back those who have by force pushed on my boundary line during the years;
without allowing my emotions to be in play; but to let The Holy Spirit think
for me and speak through me. God I pray to You in the name of Your
precious Son; my Redeemer, Lord and Saviour
Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, the power, the dominion, the majesty
and the blessings before all time and now and forever. Amen.
Jesus loves you,
In Him,
Wagdi Henein
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