Is it okay to set boundaries in relationships? Is it
healthy to set boundaries in relationships? Did Jesus set boundaries in dealing
with people? The answer to these three questions is a definite YES.
Many
health professionals insist that one of the most vital components to creating a
healthy and fulfilling relationship is to set clear and agreed to boundaries in
relationships. In simple terms, boundaries are the thing that keeps us
separate from the other person. The boundaries set the place between
where you end and the other person begins.
Many
people are sensitive-hearted and prone to take on other people’s problems. If
they don’t have clear personal boundaries and limits they get weighed down and
walked on. Eventually they start having problems with anger, resentment,
stress overload, or burn out. They just can’t continue being so helpful and
caring all the time!
Jesus
had personal needs that he put priority on — sometimes even over the needs of
other people — and he did so without feeling guilty. Primarily his personal
soul care had to do with separating himself from people to be alone with God.
Jesus
said no to inappropriate behaviour:
·
When the demands on Him from the
crowd crossed His needs to be with His Father, He withdrew from the crowds…
But the news about Him was
spreading farther, and large crowds kept gathering to hear Him and to be healed
of their illnesses. 16 But Jesus Himself would
often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion].
عَلَى أَنَّ خَبَرَ يَسُوعَ زَادَ
انْتِشَاراً، حَتَّى تَوَافَدَتْ إِلَيْهِ جُمُوعٌ كَثِيرَةٌ لِيَسْتَمِعُوا
إِلَيْهِ وَيَنَالُوا الشِّفَاءَ مِنْ أَمْرَاضِهِمْ. 16 أَمَّا هُوَ، فَكَانَ
يَنْسَحِبُ إِلَى الأَمَاكِنِ الْخَالِيَةِ حَيْثُ يُصَلِّي.
Luke 5:15-16
· Jesus set a boundary and said no to
Peter and the disciples who had an inappropriate agenda for Jesus as a
political king or military warrior rather than a sacrificial lamb.
But Jesus turned and said to
Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block
to Me; for you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on things of
man.”
فَالْتَفَتَ يَسُوعُ إِلَى
بُطْرُسَ وَقَالَ لَهُ: «اغْرُبْ مِنْ أَمَامِي يَا شَيْطَانُ! أَنْتَ عَقَبَةٌ
أَمَامِي، لأَنَّكَ تُفَكِّرُ لَا بِأُمُورِ اللهِ، بَلْ بِأُمُورِ النَّاسِ!»
Matthew
16:23
There are many more examples of Jesus setting
boundaries in The Bible and we need to learn that it is an acceptable and
encouraged behaviour for us Christians to set boundaries and protect ourselves
and our emotions, and teach others (children, friends, coworkers, loved ones,
parents) their boundaries so as to set the place between where you end and
the other person begins. Setting boundaries creates mutual respect, protects
against being controlled, and teaches others and yourself to respect other
people’s rights and privacy.
I invite you to repeat the following prayer for
yourself
Abba
Father, I pray that out of Your glorious
riches You strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so
that I can learn to set boundaries in my life and in my relationships with
others. Help me to be prepared through the guidance of The Holy Spirit to
answer all accusations or attempts to make me feel guilty because I am setting
healthy boundaries. Teach me to be firm but courteous and respectful in my
answers, explaining to others that setting boundaries is a win for them as well
and we can live in a win-win relationship with respect. Help me Lord to push
back those who have by force pushed on my boundary line during the years;
without allowing my emotions to be in play; but to let The Holy Spirit think
for me and speak through me. Father God I thank You for Your abundant
blessings and Your unfailing, deep, everlasting, and inseparable love for me. Lord God I pray to You in the name
of Your precious Son my Redeemer, Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To Him be the
glory, the power, the dominion, the majesty and the blessings forever and ever
and unto ages of all ages.
Jesus loves you,
In Him,
Wagdi Henein
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